Sanctuary and a friend

So I am sitting in my room on my lovely Diego2 and watching a terrible horror movie. The Grudge 2. It is miserable and droll so do choose something else to watch. Sigh. I notice that my room very much describes me. In front of me is my successes. It has the posters of my shows, my hero Audrey Hepburn, my wardrobe, and my treadmill. All things I have mastered. To the left is my jewelry and a giant whiteboard schedule. Oh how rediculous. Also is a picture of me and Justin. It makes me smile every time I see it. Behind me is a window and my dresser which is covered in random stuff and of course Dr Pepper. To the left my great movie collection and tv and closet. It's very random and covered like me. But I think the most important thing is that it's all superficial. Just things. Stuff. If I ever had to run out of the house and only take one thing it would be pants. People put too much stock into material goods like clothes and purfume and jewelry and nonsense. When Justin was kicked out of his house at 15 he had to sleep in a park for 2 months. Hearing his stories makes me appreciate more my own self, him, friends, family and the stuff that matters. I recently read a blog written by my friend Alyssa about her new life out East. It was nice to read and hear that she is well but also sad because I miss her. I didn't take advantage of being good friends with her while I could. You never fully love someone until you spend some time without them. Her and I have had a roller coaster of a friendship. From crying on each other's shoulders, to laughing till our cheeks hurt, to hating each other's entire beings. Looking back now I see how silly it was to hate. I feel bad because I don't have the guts to tell people what I really think of them. I'd love to sit down with Alyssa and have another one of our blunt conversations and tell her how much I really do love and care aboout her and that boys are frogs until you find your prince and princesses are stupid. We'll be smart peasents together! LOL I admire her a lot. She is pretty much everything I wish I was. Maybe I'll read some more of her blogs and find her courage and strength. For now I'm going back to this movie and texting Justin hoping that he will say something to make me laugh. I hate horror films!